The Pity Party Is Over!

Ok, I'm done! I gave myself a good 12 hours to bathe in self pity, but now I have to move on. I still have a baby counting on me. I can't let stress or emotions endanger this babies life as well. Of course, Mike and I are still sad about the loss of "Baby B" but at least we had him for a little while. While I was waiting to find out if IVF had worked for us, I never once cared if it was twins or not. Honestly, a few of you might remember that I was CONVINCED that it was only one baby and I told everyone I thought it was a girl. It wasn't until I had that ultrasound that showed twins that I even cared how many were in there. The fact of the matter is, the only thing I cared about when that second pink line showed up was that it meant I was pregnant. That fact still remains. I AM STILL PREGNANT. Sure, I will always miss Baby B and always think about the "what-if's" but I can't go through the rest of this pregnancy like that. I owe it to "Baby A" to remember every second of this pregnancy as the exhilarating miracle that it is. I owe it to Greysen, so that one day when I'm sitting on the side of her bed, I can tell her what a amazing blessing that she truly is. I don't want to look back at the time when I was carrying her and have any feelings of sadness. I want to look back and remember that I was pregnant with twins but GAVE BIRTH to a single baby, not that I was pregnant with twins and miscarried one.

I AM STILL PREGNANT!

We lost one of the twins :(

Well Mike and I went in for my 11w1d u/s today and got the bad news that Baby B died about a week ago. Its crazy to me because we had an ultrasound only a few days before it happened and he or she had a strong heartbeat and looked great. I know this sometimes happens with Twins but after 10 weeks, I just wasn't expecting it. I guess no one ever does though. Baby A (Who will from now on just be "THE BABY" ) Looked great, very healthy, and measuring right on track. It was so cool, we could see it kicking and wiggling its arms and moving all around. It's a fully formed baby now. They also told us that they think The Baby is a girl!!! She warned us that it's still early and plenty of room for error, but by the way the baby looked today from a couple of different angles, she definitely thought it was a GIRL!

I'm doing OK, I really don't think the news about baby B has sunk in yet. It's almost like I'm numb. I'm sure things will start to sink in over the next few days, however for now I'm just trying to focus on the amazing pictures of our one surviving baby!

My First Belly Pics!!

Seriously, If I keep growing at this rate, I'm going to be the size of a HOUSE in a few months. I guess having 2 in there really does make a big difference. I was told that you usually measure about 6-8 weeks larger when you have Twins. That MUST be the case here. I look HUGE and I've only gained 2 lbs. It's Crazy!

Double Digits!!

Well this week marks my 10th week of pregnancy! We are officially in double digits now. I feel like things are really starting to look up. The sickness is starting to fade away. Food is a little bit repulsive still, but it's not nearly as hard to find stuff that doesn't make me puke. I am still starving and feel sick if I don't eat RIGHT AWAY but at least now it's easier to find things to eat. I really hope that the sickness is going away for good and doesn't come back over the next few weeks. I was reading one of my Twin pregnancy books and it says to try to eat 170g of protein a day. WHAT!?!? How the heck am I going to do that. I guess I need to start getting creative with my diet.

Back from the Dr...

And the appt went great today, both the little ones measured right on track of 9w1d with Heartbeats of 170 and 179. I was so excited because the Dr told me that since we have made it this far and the babies have such strong growth and heartrates, he said my m/c rate has dropped to about 2-3%, that was music to my ears!! Today was also the first time they did an abdominal u/s instead of a transvaginal, which was great. I actually felt like a pregnant woman pulling up my shirt and getting the gel squeezed on my belly. It's crazy how you can love something so much even when they are just the size of a paper clip HAHAHA!!

Long time...

Well I just realized that it has been a long time since I updated here. Not much has been going on over the last week or so. Mike is finally home now. YAY!! He got home yesterday and its really nice to have some company again. On a pregnancy note, my stomach as started to pooch out. Its crazy how much things change over night. I'm at that stage where I just look fat. You can't really tell that I'm pregnant yet, but its obvious that SOMETHING is going on with my body though. I'm still having a hard time eating too. I get hungry every two hours and if I don't eat RIGHT AWAY, I start feeling sick! I can't wait for this part of pregnancy to pass.

What a relief!!

Well today, I had quite a scare. Let me start this out by saying EVERYTHING IS FINE!!!

Today started out just as normal as can be. However at around 2pm as I went to the bathroom for the MILLIONTH time, I noticed I was bleeding. I immediately FREAKED OUT! I quickly called my Dr who told me to come in right away. 15 min later I was laying half-naked on the ultrasound table. I was terrified, I was beyond positive that I was having another miscarriage. On the way to the Dr., I called Mike, who really didn't know what to say to calm me down, and honestly, there was nothing he could say. Anyway, to make this long story short, the babies are FINE! The ultrasound showed a small bleed in my uterus, probably that started out as an implantation "bruise" that ruptured. The Dr said not to worry about it, and it should stop bleeding in the next few hours (which it did).
The babies both had GREAT heartbeats, and wow, they had grown SOOOOOOO much over the past week. Baby B is no longer measuring behind, both are now measuring right on track at 7w4d. Their heart rates were Baby A: 167 and Baby B: 150. It was such a huge relief to see them again. This time they even looked like babies, Ok, well actually more like gummy bears, but at least they are no longer BLOBS :) I will scan the pictures and post them tomorrow, I must warn you though, they are pretty darn cute!!! I mean look at the pics in yesterdays post if you need conformation HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!