Ok, I'm done! I gave myself a good 12 hours to bathe in self pity, but now I have to move on. I still have a baby counting on me. I can't let stress or emotions endanger this babies life as well. Of course, Mike and I are still sad about the loss of "Baby B" but at least we had him for a little while. While I was waiting to find out if IVF had worked for us, I never once cared if it was twins or not. Honestly, a few of you might remember that I was CONVINCED that it was only one baby and I told everyone I thought it was a girl. It wasn't until I had that ultrasound that showed twins that I even cared how many were in there. The fact of the matter is, the only thing I cared about when that second pink line showed up was that it meant I was pregnant. That fact still remains. I AM STILL PREGNANT. Sure, I will always miss Baby B and always think about the "what-if's" but I can't go through the rest of this pregnancy like that. I owe it to "Baby A" to remember every second of this pregnancy as the exhilarating miracle that it is. I owe it to Greysen, so that one day when I'm sitting on the side of her bed, I can tell her what a amazing blessing that she truly is. I don't want to look back at the time when I was carrying her and have any feelings of sadness. I want to look back and remember that I was pregnant with twins but GAVE BIRTH to a single baby, not that I was pregnant with twins and miscarried one.
I AM STILL PREGNANT!
2 years ago