Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Calm Before The Storm

I've lost my blogging mojo. I don't know where it went, but I hear that this happens to everyone at some point. This is my time.

I guess this is the calm before the storm in my life. If, and when,  AF shows up in 2 weeks  then we will start taking the first steps in our IVF cycle. Exciting? Meh...It just seems so anti climactic at this point. I'm sick of waiting but I've kind of gotten used to it, comfortable if you will. The idea of moving forward at this point is a little scary. Birth control, which is the first step used to suppress your ovaries, always makes me super moody and icky feeling. I'm actually still shocked that Mike married me since I was on birth control for the first few years. For lack of better words, and despite the fact that my sister swears it's just a natural part of my personality, birth control makes me a BITCH!

So here is how all of this is going to go down: 2 months of birth control, 10 days of stims (we all know what those do to us, um...how do you type the sound a coo coo clock makes?), 10 days waiting to find out if I'm pregnant (let the maybe I am pregnant, wait no no I'm definitely not pregnant, mood swings begin), and then last but not least I am either pregnant and get to enjoy the emotional overload for 8 more months or I am NOT pregnant and get to freak out and cry about it for a few month until we can do a frozen cycle (and hopefully we will have something to freeze) and then this WHOLE vicious cycle begins again. 

So while I am ecstatic about having another baby. I am in no way excited about the emotional and hormonal aspects of getting to that point. It's a win/win or a lose/lose, just depending on how you look at it. 

I will get through this slump and eventually remember why I am doing all of this....


I remember now.

12 comments:

Rochelle said...

So excited for you Aly! I'll definitely be rooting for you big time!!!

Kakunaa said...

My blogging mojo left the building, too.

And I understand the BCP - ugh. Hang in there sweetie, and keep up that motivation :) I needed to see that, too.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

How exciting!! Good luck!!

Lauren said...

Good luck!! Hope everything goes well :)

The Wolf's said...

Thinking about going through things again IS scary. That's why we're all here for you! It's amazing what women walk through to get to the end. Good Luck Aly!

Crossed Fingers said...

Aw....love those pictures. It's all worth it, sometimes we forget and want to throw in the towel but that little niggling in the back of our mind tells us it's all worth it. So we do it anyway.

The Gimlins said...

I know your emotions exactly! I'm scheduled to start my stim meds in less than two weeks. Eeek! I am so very excited...and so very nervous. And I'll admit that for the last two years (since our last cycle) I have forgotten how overwhelming this whole process can be. But just as your pics show, it is well worth it. Just know that you are not alone. :)

Sarah said...

I am right there with you. We actually have decided to try three months at home before we go in to see the RE, but I just can't get excited about it. I have no faith in it, and I dread starting treatments again...but it will all be worth it if it works!

Maddy said...

I totally understand how you feel. We luckily had some embies frozen from our first IVF, and luckily one of those worked, but I remember thinking, "Oh my god, I'm going to have to do IVF again if this doesn't work." And all of those horrible dreaded IVF feelings flooded back. It all just sucks but I wish you the best of luck!!!

Erin said...

Oh! I remember those pictures like it was yesterday! I swear I just got the text saying he was born!

Nick and Kristi said...

You will def have a ton to blog about very soon:) Very excited for you to start the latest Journey:)

AudreyismyAngel said...

I wish you luck with the next IVF cycle.

Post a Comment

Don't be shy, I love comments.