I guess this is the calm before the storm in my life. If, and when, AF shows up in 2 weeks then we will start taking the first steps in our IVF cycle. Exciting? Meh...It just seems so anti climactic at this point. I'm sick of waiting but I've kind of gotten used to it, comfortable if you will. The idea of moving forward at this point is a little scary. Birth control, which is the first step used to suppress your ovaries, always makes me super moody and icky feeling. I'm actually still shocked that Mike married me since I was on birth control for the first few years. For lack of better words, and despite the fact that my sister swears it's just a natural part of my personality, birth control makes me a BITCH!
So here is how all of this is going to go down: 2 months of birth control, 10 days of stims (we all know what those do to us, um...how do you type the sound a coo coo clock makes?), 10 days waiting to find out if I'm pregnant (let the maybe I am pregnant, wait no no I'm definitely not pregnant, mood swings begin), and then last but not least I am either pregnant and get to enjoy the emotional overload for 8 more months or I am NOT pregnant and get to freak out and cry about it for a few month until we can do a frozen cycle (and hopefully we will have something to freeze) and then this WHOLE vicious cycle begins again.
So while I am ecstatic about having another baby. I am in no way excited about the emotional and hormonal aspects of getting to that point. It's a win/win or a lose/lose, just depending on how you look at it.
I will get through this slump and eventually remember why I am doing all of this....
I remember now.