We have ONE healthy baby growing in my belly right now !!
Now, since I won't have to show this post to my future twins, I can tell all of you a little secret that I have been holding in the past few weeks.
I AM SO FREAKING RELIEVED TO BE HAVING ONLY ONE BABY!!
I'm sure having twins (or more) is magical and everyone who has them loves them and wouldn't trade them for the world. However I am so glad that we get to have only one baby this time. I mentioned how petrified I was about having multiples before we started IVF but I've been very cautious to bite my tongue since getting our BFP. What's the old saying, "Beggars can't be choosers".Well that is exactly how I felt. Who am I, Infertile Aly, to say I don't want two babies (right now). Just take what you are blessed to be given and be happy.
Today at the ultrasound when the Dr said we have just one, I sat straight up and cheered. Omg, I was so excited! The idea of twins with a two year old was so overwhelming to me. After my high risk pregnancy last time and going into preterm labor at 24 weeks, I can't imagine how hard things would have been with two babies in there. My body has proven that it can produce one healthy baby, why push it?
I had a million worries running through my head over the last few weeks. Some of them were silly but some were justified.
First up was, We also only want 3 children, so if it was twins this time that would have been it. I just wasn't ready for this to be my last pregnancy. This was a selfish worry, yes but still one of my worries.
Secondly, We already have all the baby stuff for one, with the exception of some pink stuff if it turns out to be a girl. Buying doubles would have been fun, but expensive. This was very silly of me, we are fortunate enough to be able to afford all of these things, yet I still worried about it.
Thirdly, I also am confident that I will be able to breastfeed one again, which is something that would have been more challenging with twins. A challenge that I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle. I am only 7 weeks pregnant and already worried about the mommy guilt associated with not being able breastfeed hahaha!
I just feel like once we reach that magical threshold marking the end of the first trimester, I will be able breath a small sigh of relief and actually start to enjoy this pregnancy with out all of the added what-if's that come with pregnancy and life with multiples.
Please don't get me wrong, having multiples is an amazing miracle. One that I was very excited about when we found out we were pregnant with twins last pregnancy. Well God will never give you more than you can handle, and he has once again proven how well he knows me.
In other news, my RE released me to a regular OB today!! I called and made my first OB appointment for April 6th at 1pm. We will have another ultrasound then at exactly 9 weeks . :)