Saturday, July 31, 2010

Perfect Timing?

No doubt that you have heard people ask the $64,000 question "when is the right time to have a baby" and the answer is always, "you'll know when your ready". Unfortunately for couples who are challenged in the fertility department, there are few more factors than just being "ready" that have to be considered. Somewhere out there, some brilliant infertile mathmatician is probably working to developed a fancy IVF readiness formula (Good Will Hunting style). Until then, this is my own personal theory.

(Your timing / Dr timing) + (money to take care of child when born  / money to create child) = 

Perfect timing!

 First you have to figure out when is your perfect timing. For me this is usually done by looking through my calendar and finding a random block of 4 weeks just laying around. 4 weeks where I want nothing more then to stab myself with needles, be violated by ultrasound machines, and wake up at crack of dawn to see the dr because it seems that they only do IVF monitoring appointments at like 6 am (as if we haven't already paid enough). For others, it is whenever you can manage to take a few weeks off of work. And for the Army wives, its during the few weeks that your husband is not either in the field, away at a school, or gearing up/ gone for deployment. It is basically just whenever you can find the time to push the pause button on your life,  so you can focus all of your time, effort, emotions, and energy on having a baby.

Your Doctor's timing is almost always different than your own. Either your perfect cycle is already full. Or they want you to put it off for a few months to have more testing, surgeries, longer suppression, or any one of a million other reasons. Getting your timing and your Doctor's timing to line up perfectly is almost impossible. So a compromise is almost always necessary, however it gets even more complicated when you add two more elements into the equation. Two VERY BIG elements.

Money!

Not only do you have to be a point where you feel like you can afford to financially support a child, you also have to be able to financially CREATE a child. IVF is expensive. Usually around $20,000 for most people.  Even when your lucky enough to have insurance coverage or military discounts you still have to pay out thousands in deductibles, co pays, and lab fees. It is so intimidating when they give you that nice neat little price list, with a five figure number circled at the bottom estimating your total costs. So along with coordinating your time and your Doctor's time. You also have to make sure you're ready with the money when those two dates magically match up. 

Now, after going through this very long explanation, I have plugged all of our information into the formula listed above and have come up with ....

JANUARY 2011!

I really really really wanted to do IVF #2 in the October/November time frame, but  after talking to my RE and Mike we decided to wait until after Christmas. It is what is best for us, even though I don't like it. I really wanted to get the show on the road and take the plunge into IVF number two soon. UGH!! Patience has never been my strong suit.

Now we wait!

P.S. I loved my new RE. She was awesome and I can't wait to cycle with her. I think it will be great! Oh and I am totally adding an IVF countdown ticker now that I have some actual dates. I'm such a dork!!

3 comments:

~*Sammie y Gary*~ said...

I'm sorry this IF stuff is so involved...that must be tough. You're a strong lady!

But, I hope everything goes well during all your procedures :-)

Good luck!

Amber said...

You are SO not a dork! I would do the same thing! I'm so excited for you that you have a plan. For me, that takes a ton of pressure off right there. And to have a great RE on top of that is fantastic. Yay for progress!!

Lora said...

New year, new baby, sounds perfect to me!!! I hate waiting too though and I've nveer had to wit for something as huge and important as this. C'mon January!!!

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