Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Stupid People Make Me Laugh!

So today while I was stumbling around the internet (during my numerous hours of free time), I found this article written by Carolyn Hax for her column Tell Me About It over at The Washington Post. Normally I would write a whole long post about something like this but there is no need. Carolyn says it all.  You can read it here or this is the link to her column...
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/22/AR2007052201554.html

Carolyn: 
Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .
Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions. -Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

Internet searches?
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.
Credit: (Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)

12 comments:

~*Sammie y Gary*~ said...

That person is a special kind of stupid!

Lora said...

I am just....speechless. The response was PERFECT though.

Carissa said...

Thank you! Being a stay at home mom, is exhausting! Even if you seemingly have nothing to show for what you did at the end of the day.

Beth said...

I love the entire thing! That is an awesome response! What an idiot!

Crossed Fingers said...

haha - this person must seriously be dense! I don't have kids yet and even I know what a stay at home mom does all day. She sounds like she just wanted someone to pat her on the back and say "You manager your time better that's all!"

Daisy83808 said...

Love this!

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