Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Goodbye House.

Last night was the last night we will ever spend as a family in this house. Moving is such a simple thing for some people, like my husband a self proclaimed Army Brat, but I am still very new to all of this. My parents have lived in the same house for 32 years now. I was born there and I grew up there. When I was of college age, I moved in with my sister. She was  living in my grandparents old house about 30 mins away. Before they passed away, they lived in that house for probably about 45 years. That is what you do in my family, you buy a house and keep it forever. The Army life is a little different.

We bought this house about 3 and a half years ago. We didn't know much about buying a house back then, but I we learned ALOT. When you are buying your first house, you don't know what you really need in a house. For example, this house has very few closets. There is one in each bedroom, but that is about it. We now know that is important to us in our next house. This house also has no garbage disposable, and while I know one of those are pretty simple to install we just never got around to it. The next house better have one of those, because I am so sick of scooping bits of food out of the drain. There are alot of great things about this house, but I am pretty sure the most important thing we have learned is what we DON'T like in a home.

The one thing I will always LOVE about this house are the memories.
This is where we became a family. 
This is where the laughing, smiling, fighting, and crying all happened.
This is where we found out we were infertile.
This is where we did all of our infertility treatments. 
This is where I got my BFP and then took all of those weekly belly shots in the mirror.
This is where I went into labor. 
And
This is where we brought London home from the hospital. 
This was my little boys first HOME.
This is our first house taken the day that we moved in. Alot has changed since then, but this was it on February 14, 2007. 

I am not going to lie, I got pretty sentimental last night looking at London sleeping in his room for the last time. Thinking about all the firsts that happened in this house. When I finally realized, it is not this HOUSE that I will miss so much, it is all of those moments that I will probably forget when we walk out of the front door for the last time. Right now I am reminded of some of the silly little memories that happened in this house just because I live here. I remember London spilling my nail polish on the carpet because I look at that stain every morning. Will I remember that when we leave? What about remembering when the dogs were puppies? I can't help but be reminded of them when I see the base board that they chewed in the bathroom. Will I forget that when I leave? I know this is all silly little stuff, and I know there are a million more memories to be made along the way. It's just so hard to let go. Have I mentioned that I don't do change very well? Well I need to go pack the stuff that I am going to take with us. We won't see our household goods until July 1, when we finally close on our house. So it is important that I take everything I will need in the next month with me now. At this rate, the movers might come on Friday to an empty house. I am pretty sure I need all of this stuff. I am going to try to take just the bare essentials though. So my list will probably look something like this: clean panties, Toothbrush, straightening iron, diapers, and most importantly my TIVO.  

So to the house that has been a HOME to my little family for the last 3 years, I have just one thing left to say...in the words of the greatest pop band to every grace the stage "Bye Bye Bye!" *Nsync (yes, you read that right. *Nsync will always be #1 in my book haha).

Monday, May 24, 2010

We Have Renters So We're Going To VEGAS!

I am so excited right now, allow me to give you a little background in to why. When we found out about our upcoming move, we quickly made the decision to rent our house out instead of trying to sell it. Mike and I bought this house just before the market collapsed in 2007. We got a great deal on it, or so we thought at the time. If we bought this house now, we could probably get it for about ten thousand less than what we paid with an interest rate of about 2% lower as well.  With all of that said, I will get to why I am so excited. We found renters! Last night we got the word from one of the couples that we showed the house to on Saturday, that they definitely want the house. We did a credit check and called references, and everything came back great. They are going to be signing the lease and paying the deposit in the next few days to make it official.

Can I just tell you what a HUGE relief this is. It is feels like a million pounds have been lifted off of my shoulders. I was scared that we were going to have trouble renting it out and get stuck with two mortgage payments. We could have done it financially, but we really would have started pinching pennies. We all know that moving is not a time to start pinching pennies. Decorating a new house is expensive. :)

The new renters will be moving in on June 7th, and we don't close on our new house until July 1. So in the mean time, we won't have a housing cost. You may be wondering what we are planning to do with that month of mortgage free living. Putting money away for the new house? Building our savings account a little more? Padding our budget for the next few months? NOPE!!! We are going to Vegas! Mike has some leave before he has to report to his new job, so we are planning a little impromptu trip to Sin City. I have never been, so I am ecstatic. We are dropping London off with the Grandparents and heading to Vegas for 5 days. The plan right now (although nothing has been booked) is to stay at the Luxor for 4 nights. Any suggestions of things that I MUST DO while I am there? Shows to see or Restaurant  recommendations?  I am planning to do alot of gambling and see two shows, at least one being Cirque Du Soleil. The rest of the time will be spent just shopping and wandering around.

Who knows this could just be our last trip before go back through infertility treatments, pregnancy, and having baby. **Fingers Crossed** We better enjoy it while we can.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Help Me Decorate!!!

O.K. I need help. You may not know this about me, but I am a FAILURE in the decorating department. I have no idea what I am doing. Thankfully my husband is VERY opinionated about decorating, but I DON'T want to end up living in a bachelor pad. So here are my choices for granite in our new house. Unfortunately I don't get to choose the cabinet colors, because they were already ordered when we bought the house. I much prefer a darker wood like cherry, but this is what I got. It's not horrible, and it's definitely a huge step up from the white that I have in my kitchen now. (I hate them because they show every little speck of dirt.)

The background is the cabinet color. I am picking the granite first and then picking floors to go with it, so no worries about that.

Leave me a comment with your vote. I seriously need all the help I can get.
A

B
C

D

E

Friday, May 21, 2010

Welcome ICLW!!


IComLeavWe


IComLeavWe: Join the Conversation

Well it is that time of month again, and no I am not talking about AF. It's time for ICOMLEAVWE!! This is only my second month participating, but I had alot of fun last month so I think I might just become a "regular".

My name is Aly and I am an Army Wife and Stay at Home Mom...WAIT, don't leave yet. I know since I am secondary infertility it can be a put off to some people, but I was primary infertility at one point too. You see, London is the product of 2 years of TTC and finally an IVF/ICSI/AH cycle. Something some people find interesting is that I did IVF through the Army at Womack MTF. (I just wanted to put that out there in case any of you stopping by are military, and don't know about this program. Email me if you want details.) I did IVF in June 08 so if you want to read all about my cycle, you can do so HERE (start at the bottom). If you want our complete infertility journey you can click HERE. If you are already bored with my ramblings you might want to leave NOW because I tend to do this alot. :) (and and yes, I use smilies too.)

Currently, we are TTC number 2. We are still in the early stages of trying, but are really hoping not to have to go back through IVF. It's a long shot, but there is always hope. Last month we did our very first round of infertility drugs since we started TTC #2. It was Gonal F and an HCG trigger. I had 3 mature follicles, but apparently none of them "took" because I ended up with an ugly BFN and a very rude AF. We are taking this month off (of the meds at least) because we are MOVING!! RE visits every other day this month would just be too much to take on in the middle of a move.

Take a look around, and make yourself at home. Thanks for stopping by my little world.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I Quit You Infertility (at least for tonight)!

I am so sick of writing about infertility. Sadly though, it really seems to have taken over my every thought. I don't want to think about it anymore tonight. I want to be naive.  I don't want to know when my fertile period is, and I sure don't want to know what the acronym BFN means. If I could erase all of that from my memory, I would be having a much better night, week, month, and probably YEAR.

Here is my life when you subtract the BBT, CD__, OPK, HPT, IVF, IUI, OB, ICSI, AH,  RE,  TTC, and IF from the equation. (If you don't know what any of those acronyms mean consider yourself lucky, and don't bother to google them.)

A) My computer is still in the shop, do I even need to get into how ANNOYING that is? My Commodore 64 and Android phone can only allow me to do so much. Hopefully it will be ready tomorrow. *fingers crossed*

B) Not sure if I mentioned this but we are renting out our house instead of selling it. I have people coming by tomorrow to look at it and let me just tell you, it is a DISASTER! We decided to have the back yard completely landscaped. They went back there and riped up all the grass and will be laying sod down in the next day or so. Hopefully the people looking will be understanding of the MESS that is back there right now. Pulling up all the grass and adding a drainage system doesn't exactly make for an attractive yard. The finished product will be amazing, or at least it better be for the amount of money we are paying.

C) My husband and I are going to get a divorce over decorating the NEW house. I told him today that I won't be able to see the TV if we position it on the far wall (I wear glasses). He then told me "that is the most ridiculous excuse I have ever heard!" Really honey, poor sight is the most ridiculous excuse you have ever heard? I am scared to hear what you would have said if I have led with what I really wanted to say... "umm, that's UGLY!"

D) I have not mentioned this recently but I have the most amazingly handsome 14 month old little boy to ever walk the earth. That is just a fact, I am not biased at all.  OK so maybe I am a little bias, but really he is pretty freaking adorable and I can't imagine my life with out him. He is the only thing that makes IF worth it. (CRAP! I said something about IF, please scratch that from the record.) You can judge for yourself, and leave the answer in the comments section. (All negative comments will be deleted and user will be marked as spam HAHA!)

Going for a ride in his wagon with his Dad.
(He loves wearing hats, he actually hates to leave the house without one.)


Playing in the rain!


"Quick Mom take a picture, I look cute right now"
(See the background? Hence the Sod work in the back yard.)

Check out his Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory hair do :)

OK that is all for now. Infertility, you can go back to running my life tomorrow, but I am sure you already knew that. See you then!


Saturday, May 15, 2010

Keywords of Infertility

As I have said many times, this blog started out as a way to keep my family and friends in the loop while I was doing IVF. Telling the same BFN story fifty times every single month was becoming very emotionally taxing. Starting a blog seemed like the logical choice. I could write the story ONCE and everyone could read it. I didn't have to hear "I'm sorry" a bajillion times a day. I could pick a few minutes during the day to read the comments and have a big cry fest in private. Then it would be over, and I could go back to leading my life. It was very therapeutic then, just as it is now as we are starting the infertility journey again. I can look back at almost two years ago and be reminded about every single step in my journey. Some are good memories, and some are not, but those are MY memories to keep forever now. At some point during my journey, the blog really took off. I had people following me that I did not know. I couldn't figure out for the life of me how they found my (then) unsearchable blog. It was at that point that I decided to become a REAL BLOGGER. I had "traffic", and I wanted to know who they were and where they were coming from.

I did a little research and found a program called Google Analytics. I installed it on my blog and let me just tell you, if you don't have it...GET IT! It has been a great tool, I have also installed a few other programs since then, but this was my first. I occasionally check it (Ok, so maybe I check it DAILY. I would check it hourly but it only updates once a day). Not very surprisingly, most people find me from google. It helps when your blog title has the word "infertility" in it. However the part that I find the most interesting are the keywords that people type into google to somehow stumble across my tiny spot in the cyber universe.

As you can probably guess, most of them read something like this "10dpo BFN", "4dp3dt IVF", "Infertility Overachievers" (thanks Mom for never being able to remember my blog address), and "Womack IVF". However some of them are more entertaining. I probably need to apologize to the poor people who came to my boring blog by way of "Does it snow in London" and also "London Bridge blog". Sorry, I really should have named him something less confusing like John. I made a little mental note of that for baby number two. Anyway, back to keywords. 

About a week ago, I got my first upsetting keyword. It was nothing dirty or disgusting. It didn't make me want to run to the bathroom and puke like some keywords I have heard from other bloggers. The raw emotion in such a simple little sentence just really made my heart break for the author. Keyword: "i want him to say sorry for infertility". When I first started typing this post I had every intention of getting out my soap box and going into a long "You are not separate in infertility...You are infertile TOGETHER...it is no ones fault...no one should ever have to say sorry for their own infertility...blah blah blah" rant. However, the more I wrote about why I started this blog, I  began to remember how devastating primary infertility was on my life, my marriage, and as sad as it sounds, my ego. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. What I wouldn't have given for it to be someone else's fault. Anyone else's fault but mine. Someone to blame. Someone to curse at, to yell and scream at, Someone to hold responsible for the horrible hand that I had been dealt. Anyone, anyone but me.

Accepting infertility is a process. It's not like we can just swallow it and say, "Phew, at least infertility won't kill me like cancer will" (Which, on a side note, is the dumbest thing someone said to me in the midst of my battle to have a baby.) Everyone grieves in some way, shape, or form at the loss of the "dream" of naturally conceiving child. A dream you never even knew you had until you heard the dreaded "infertile" word come out of your Doctors mouth. Who am I to judge how this woman is grieving? Who am I to preach at her? I've been there, maybe not in the exact same thought process, but I've been there. We all have.

To the person who found my blog via "i want him to say sorry for infertility":
I hope you are still reading my blog. I know the fact that I am now considered secondary infertility is off putting to some people, but trust me I know how tough this can be. Him saying sorry won't make any of this go away, but I am sure you already know that. I am positive that search was just part of your process. Please feel free to email me if you ever need to chat. I can introduce you to a ton of other women going through this same thing. It's not fair, but we are all in this boat together. I wish I had some beautiful inspiring words to say to you right now, but the truest words are not always written by a poet, so I will leave you with this...

INFERTILITY SUCKS!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

We found a house!!

Sorry I have not posted in a while. My computer crapped out on me. Right now as I type, it is in surgery. I found a highly qualified computer Dr who was willing to work on my beloved laptop for the low low price of...$50. I mean really you can't beat that. The only thing that was wrong with it was that the power cord no longer connected inside. So basically he is just replacing a tiny little prong on the inside of the computer. Hummm, when I think about it that way, $50 doesn't seem like such a great deal anymore.

OK back to the house. So in case you missed it. We are moving!! I am super stoked. This past weekend we went house hunting. It was so much fun. We only went to two neighborhoods before we found "THE HOUSE". Here it is!!


As you can tell this is not an actual picture. Our house is not finished being built yet, so this is just the mock up version of it.

We put in an offer on Tuesday, offering them full asking price (which they had already reduced) but we were asking for alot of upgrades. The house comes with all stainless appliances except the fridge, so we asked for that. They also don't sod the back yard, they just throw grass seed. So we asked for sod. We asked for them to pay closing costs. Most importantly we asked for a privacy fence. We were all very sure that were going to send us a counter offer, which they did. However the counter offer was really great. They were going to give us all of the upgrades we wanted, except for the fence. Since the fence was the most important part to us, we offered to up our asking price to cover half of the fence if they covered the other half. DEAL!! They accepted and we are now officially UNDER CONTRACT! I am so excited for this move now.

The new house is 4 bedrooms 2.5baths and 2,400sqft. Oh and the best part. It has a fenced in back yard for both the dogs and London. Right now we have 3 bedrooms 2 bath and 1600 sq ft, so this is definitely an upgrade for us. I will be honest, I am not sure how I feel about the house being 2 story. I just have this fear of London falling down the stairs, but that is why they make baby gates I guess. The master bedroom is on the first floor, so it will be nice to have some privacy. Right now London's room is off the kitchen, but in the new house he will be upstairs. Yay! Now I won't have to cook in silence anymore. Another great thing about the new house is that, since it is still being built we get to pick out the colors for everything. Although, trying to pick out that stuff with my husband might just start WWIII. Who knows my next post might be entitled "DIVORCE". Only kidding, I love you honey! (I know he secretly reads this.)


OK well that is all from me for now. I need to go get packing!



Monday, May 10, 2010

And the winner is.....

First off...My laptop died tonight, I will be holding a memorial service at Best Buy tomorrow. In the mean time, I am using the old dinosaur in the bed room (trust me this thing is probably only one one step up from a Commodore 64). So I won't be able to add a fancy screen shot tonight. I did however want to make sure everyone saw the results. So here is a super high tech redneck camera phone quality photo of the screen at Random.org.
The winner is....


KittyGirlTX who said:
"I love the forever in my heart necklace and the infant loss memorial bracelet. Either one is a wonderful way to remember the little ones we have lost."


                                                             May 4, 2010 12:05 AM


Shoot me an email and claim your prize!! Thanks everyone for making this such great giveaway!

Friday, May 7, 2010

This post is brought to you by the letter "A"

Well first off, apparently today at 12 dpo A F  decided to come make a little visit. Today on the magical day of testing, the day where I was really expecting hoping to see those magical two pink lines. Instead I just saw, RED! I am not going to lie, I really didn't think this was going to work. We tried on our own for over a year and then did another year of if treatments before having London. That included 3 IUI's, numerous timed intercourse cycles, and then lastly IVF. As much as I don't want to admit it, IVF might be the only chance we have of getting pregnant. At least we have IVF though. At least we have that option, and we know that it can (and hopefully will again) work for us. That is more than alot of other infertile's have. I have to be thankful for that.  I have decided that I don't want to try more fertility treatments next month. We just have way too much going on. What you ask?
The A rmy  is moving us!! Yep that is right, we are finally headed out of Fort Benning. We have been here FOREVER. Ok, so maybe it has only been 4 years but in the Army that is forever. Due to my husbands job, I can't tell you where we are going. I can however tell you that we are going to staying in the south. This southern girl, couldn't be more happy about that. I mean seriously, you can not put a price tag on being about to order sweet tea at a restaurant, and it not coming out of a fountain or can. Here is the kicker, we knew these orders were going to be coming. When they came though we were a little shocked. Report date: JUNE 1. Are you kidding me. In one month I have to pack a house, find renters, find a new house, close on the new house, move into the new house. I have to do all of this with a baby, 3 pups, and husband in tow. :)
As you can see, we have a BUSY month ahead of us, so this cycle we are going to try the old fashioned way. I have heard this is very sucessfull. It consists of getting drunk and making out in the back of a car on prom night. Ok so maybe we will have to modify that method since we won't have a prom, but I am sure we can figure something out. HAHAHA!


Don't forget my giveaway ends on Sunday. Go ENTER!  I was thinking the other night. This would also make a GREAT deployment necklace for all of my army wife readers! You could get your anniversary date on it or something like that!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

10 Dpo = BFN

Well I tested this morning, and of course it was a BFN (Big Fat Negative). It is still really early so I am not about to give up yet. When we did IVF, I was the equivalent to 10 dpo when I got my very first HINT of a second line. Even then I wasn't sure that the second pink line was really even there. So I'm not giving up hope this time. It could still be another 3-4 days before I see anything, if I am really pregnant. I guess I will just have to wait and see. Ugh, but waiting is so hard! Can someone please use the Tivo remote and fast forward my life, just a few days. I can't stand the waiting!!

Don't forget to enter my giveaway. This giveaway is for EVERYONE, you do not need to be a mother or suffering from infertility to enter. Just help up support these causes by entering. Bugaboo Jewelry has some amazing pieces for everyone. Just remember her proceeds go to help couple pay for expensive infertility treatments or adoption. Help us raise awareness for this great cause.

What's for Dinner Contest WINNER!!!

So as you all know my blog has been acting a little crazy recently. None of you can see any of the old comments, but trust me I can still see them. I had about 15 people enter (through comments and emails) the What's for Dinner Contest! and OMG! those were some DELICIOUS recipes. Seriously, they were all good. Some were super simple, which was really nice on the nights that I really didn't want to cook in the first place. Others took a little more planning, but was well worth it in the end. I will be honest and admit that didn't cook 2 of the recipes. While I am SURE they were delicious, they just weren't OUR style. So with out further delay, the winner is......


Stacie from  "Well-Behaved Women Rarely Make History"


She sent me an email with this awesome recipe  Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Sandwiches.   I can not explain to you how good these were. I hate spicy food, but you can control the spice in this by picking a mild sauce. They were so easy, and I put the chicken straight out of the freezer into the crockpot. All I had to do was add sauces, turn it on, and walked away. I cooked the entire meal while holding London on my hip. When it came time to eat, I just added some jack cheese and smothered it in ranch dressing, that I made it with the other half of the ranch mix. I served it with some potato salad that I bought at Publix, and some peas just to have something green. Mike loved this and so did I. It was a very unanimous decision. The recipe says it serves 6 so I was hesitant about making so much since it is just the two of us. However by dinner the following night it was almost all gone. Here is a little picture for you of the finished product (and it was served on paper plates too, which is always my favorite).

Thanks for all the recipes ladies, they were all amazing! This was a great success, and I am sure I will be doing it again. So make sure to start collecting recipes for next time.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Mother's Day Giveaway!!

** Just wanted to clear something up. This not just a infertility giveaway. This is open to everyone who wants to have children in the future, is currently pregnant, had a baby, m/c, still birth, infant loss, tried (trying) to concieve, tried (trying) to adopt, or know someone who has. THIS is a giveaway for ALL women, all Mother's past, present, and future.  Help us support all of these causes and ENTER to win this amazing necklace!!**

Mother's Day is quickly approaching. For some this is a joyous day filled with celebration, but for others it is just plain torture. This year I think we should celebrate together. Whether you have a living child, an angel baby, or are the midst of trying to conceive or adopt, we are all MOTHERS in our heart. Cliche I know, but it is so very true.  

A few months ago, you might remember, I got my very first "mommy" necklace. I loved it (and still do). One day I just happened to stumbled across Bugaboo jewelry. I immediately loved Kristi's jewelry, but it was her message that really spoke to me. She specializes in  miscarriage, stillbirth and pregnancy-infant loss jewelry. She also donates a portion of her proceeds to an organization that offers financial aid to couples going through fertility treatments or adoption. How amazing is that? 

I am extremely excited to announce that Kristi has been generous enough to sponsor a Mother's Day Giveaway here at The Infertility Overachievers. Now through Mother's Day (May 9, 2010), you can enter to win this amazing necklace.

This piece is made to order so it can be customized just for you. You can change "forever in my heart" to a different phrase, name, or even date that is meaningful to you. This is a piece made just  for YOU this Mother's Day.

Here is how you enter:

Mandatory Entry: 

V isit Bugaboo Jewelry  and leave a comment letting me know which piece is your favorite
  and  
 become a follower of my blog. (1 entry)

For Extra Entries

-Go visit BundlesofHope and let me know that you did. (1 entry)

-Make a donation to BundlesofHope (5 entries)

-Follow me on twitter @IfOverachievers or let me know you already do. (1 entry)

-Tweet about this entry and include @IFOverachievers. Example: Enter to win this awesome necklace @IFOverachievers Mothers Day giveaway at   www.infertilityoverachievers.com  Please RT!  (You may tweet once per day for another entry.  Leave a separate comment and twitter link for each daily tweet.) (1 entry)

-Post about this giveaway on your blog. (Please leave link to your post) (2 entries)










***Please leave one separate comment for every entry.***







Everyone is welcome (and encouraged) to enter .




Contest will end on May 9, 2010 at 11:59 pm EST ( Mother's Day ). Winner will be drawn and announced on May 10, 2010. All entries must have a valid email address listed for contact (or listed on your blog/twitter).  Winner must respond within 72 hours or a new winner will be drawn. 

Saturday, May 1, 2010

The End of National Infertility Awareness Week.

Well today marks the end of NIAW. It has been a good one and I have met some amazing women. I mentioned earlier that I joined twitter recently, and met some even more amazing women struggling with infertility over there. One of the women I met there is Keiko. She made an amazing video for NIAW that I just had to share. Please take a minute to watch it. Each and every time I watch, it brings tears to my eyes. I have thought every single one of those "what IF's" while battling infertility. For my fertile readers, IF is the internet's abbreviation for InFertility. I never realized how fitting that was until I watched this video. Enjoy.



What IF? A Portrait of Infertility from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.

 On a different note, you may have noticed that I have finally made the switch to my new domain name (www.infertilityoverachievers.com). My old link will still work, so there is no need to change any of your links or bookmarks. You may have also noticed that all of my old comments have disappeared. Over the next few days they will slowly start showing back up. Including those of you who entered my giveaway (don't worry, I will restart that in a few days when things get ironed out). You can now comment on my new posts (please do!) and if you commented on an old post I can still see it even if you can not. Hopefully by tomorrow all of those will have merged over to the new site too.

Ok, ONE LAST THING....I have a winner in the cooking contest. Winner will be announced tomorrow. It was a good one so thank you for all of the recipes!