Fact: I am a fertile infertile.
We can't get pregnant without some serious medical intervention but apparently IVF works for us. We have done it twice and now have two amazing and beautiful boys to show for it.
I'm going to be honest, as usual, and when we decided to have Holden, I was petrified of how hard having two kids was going to be. Now that I have him, I know the answer. Amazingly Hard! Difficult! Some days the only thing that can solve my craziness is a big glass (okay, BOTTLE) of wine. I need to drink 20 oz of coffee every morning, wipe my butt while talking to one child and holding the other, and sleeping every night glued to TWO baby monitors. My life is a pure chaos. Yet for some reason I can not stop thinking about having baby number 3...and possibly 4.
You know how people always say tattoos are addictive? Is it possible that kids are also? Did I just compare kids to tattoos?
I LOVE my boys, but it is no secret that I want a girl next. I don't want a girl for the cute clothes and hair bows. I want a girl so that someone will call me when I'm old and grey(er than I currently am). Boys get married and leave their mama's. Girls get married and call for advice, well some of them do. I wouldn't trade my boys for the WORLD. Even though I got a few "I'm sorry" comments when we found out Holden was another boy, we were honestly THRILLED! London got a brother close in age, and I got to reuse all of his ADORABLE baby stuff. Just kidding that wasn't the only reason we were happy, but it definitely didn't hurt.
So here I am already contemplating having baby number 3. No time soon of course, but I'm not afraid anymore. The change from one to two kids petrified me. However thus far it hasn't been so hard. I could handle three and if the third is not a girl (which would be fine) I am more than HAPPY to adopt a little girl down the road. One of my best friends Elizabeth warned me that it will get a whole lot harder when Holden starts crawling. I believe her that, but I live in the now! Right now I want another baby...maybe even two.
After the next baby even if she is a girl, I want to keep my options open. I may want another child.
I am the 4th of five children
However I am NOT willing to do another fresh IVF cycle. We have 5 frosties and if none of them create a baby, then we will adopt number 3 and call it a day...er...life.
I am also not willing to carry a 4th child. I love being pregnant, okay I actually hate it. I give up wine, gain 30 lbs, and spend 4 months on bedrest while stressing about keeping my baby in until 37 weeks. It's a cruel joke because I have never needed a glass of wine more than when I was stressing about preterm labor. Above and beyond all that...I'm not very good at pregnancy. My body just doesn't like it. So why push it? Child number four WILL be adopted. And I am ecstatic about that idea, especially after seeing my IRL friend Lora meet her new daughter thanks to the miracle of international adoption.
You should have seen Mikes eyes the other night when I said I possibly wanted 4 children. Since day one, over 11 years ago, we both said we wanted 3 children. He listened and told me he would be very willing to discuss it again after baby number 3. He didn't say yes...but he definitely didn't say no. :)
So here I am already contemplating having baby number 3. No time soon of course, but I'm not afraid anymore. The change from one to two kids petrified me. However thus far it hasn't been so hard. I could handle three and if the third is not a girl (which would be fine) I am more than HAPPY to adopt a little girl down the road. One of my best friends Elizabeth warned me that it will get a whole lot harder when Holden starts crawling. I believe her that, but I live in the now! Right now I want another baby...maybe even two.
After the next baby even if she is a girl, I want to keep my options open. I may want another child.
I am the 4th of five children
However I am NOT willing to do another fresh IVF cycle. We have 5 frosties and if none of them create a baby, then we will adopt number 3 and call it a day...er...life.
I am also not willing to carry a 4th child. I love being pregnant, okay I actually hate it. I give up wine, gain 30 lbs, and spend 4 months on bedrest while stressing about keeping my baby in until 37 weeks. It's a cruel joke because I have never needed a glass of wine more than when I was stressing about preterm labor. Above and beyond all that...I'm not very good at pregnancy. My body just doesn't like it. So why push it? Child number four WILL be adopted. And I am ecstatic about that idea, especially after seeing my IRL friend Lora meet her new daughter thanks to the miracle of international adoption.
You should have seen Mikes eyes the other night when I said I possibly wanted 4 children. Since day one, over 11 years ago, we both said we wanted 3 children. He listened and told me he would be very willing to discuss it again after baby number 3. He didn't say yes...but he definitely didn't say no. :)
