Saturday, May 15, 2010

Keywords of Infertility

As I have said many times, this blog started out as a way to keep my family and friends in the loop while I was doing IVF. Telling the same BFN story fifty times every single month was becoming very emotionally taxing. Starting a blog seemed like the logical choice. I could write the story ONCE and everyone could read it. I didn't have to hear "I'm sorry" a bajillion times a day. I could pick a few minutes during the day to read the comments and have a big cry fest in private. Then it would be over, and I could go back to leading my life. It was very therapeutic then, just as it is now as we are starting the infertility journey again. I can look back at almost two years ago and be reminded about every single step in my journey. Some are good memories, and some are not, but those are MY memories to keep forever now. At some point during my journey, the blog really took off. I had people following me that I did not know. I couldn't figure out for the life of me how they found my (then) unsearchable blog. It was at that point that I decided to become a REAL BLOGGER. I had "traffic", and I wanted to know who they were and where they were coming from.

I did a little research and found a program called Google Analytics. I installed it on my blog and let me just tell you, if you don't have it...GET IT! It has been a great tool, I have also installed a few other programs since then, but this was my first. I occasionally check it (Ok, so maybe I check it DAILY. I would check it hourly but it only updates once a day). Not very surprisingly, most people find me from google. It helps when your blog title has the word "infertility" in it. However the part that I find the most interesting are the keywords that people type into google to somehow stumble across my tiny spot in the cyber universe.

As you can probably guess, most of them read something like this "10dpo BFN", "4dp3dt IVF", "Infertility Overachievers" (thanks Mom for never being able to remember my blog address), and "Womack IVF". However some of them are more entertaining. I probably need to apologize to the poor people who came to my boring blog by way of "Does it snow in London" and also "London Bridge blog". Sorry, I really should have named him something less confusing like John. I made a little mental note of that for baby number two. Anyway, back to keywords. 

About a week ago, I got my first upsetting keyword. It was nothing dirty or disgusting. It didn't make me want to run to the bathroom and puke like some keywords I have heard from other bloggers. The raw emotion in such a simple little sentence just really made my heart break for the author. Keyword: "i want him to say sorry for infertility". When I first started typing this post I had every intention of getting out my soap box and going into a long "You are not separate in infertility...You are infertile is no ones one should ever have to say sorry for their own infertility...blah blah blah" rant. However, the more I wrote about why I started this blog, I  began to remember how devastating primary infertility was on my life, my marriage, and as sad as it sounds, my ego. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. What I wouldn't have given for it to be someone else's fault. Anyone else's fault but mine. Someone to blame. Someone to curse at, to yell and scream at, Someone to hold responsible for the horrible hand that I had been dealt. Anyone, anyone but me.

Accepting infertility is a process. It's not like we can just swallow it and say, "Phew, at least infertility won't kill me like cancer will" (Which, on a side note, is the dumbest thing someone said to me in the midst of my battle to have a baby.) Everyone grieves in some way, shape, or form at the loss of the "dream" of naturally conceiving child. A dream you never even knew you had until you heard the dreaded "infertile" word come out of your Doctors mouth. Who am I to judge how this woman is grieving? Who am I to preach at her? I've been there, maybe not in the exact same thought process, but I've been there. We all have.

To the person who found my blog via "i want him to say sorry for infertility":
I hope you are still reading my blog. I know the fact that I am now considered secondary infertility is off putting to some people, but trust me I know how tough this can be. Him saying sorry won't make any of this go away, but I am sure you already know that. I am positive that search was just part of your process. Please feel free to email me if you ever need to chat. I can introduce you to a ton of other women going through this same thing. It's not fair, but we are all in this boat together. I wish I had some beautiful inspiring words to say to you right now, but the truest words are not always written by a poet, so I will leave you with this...



Rochelle said...

I second that! Just kinda wanna scream!

Heather said...

I just checked my Google Analytics (I have become a BAD blogger and quit checking it daily since I have only been blogging about once a week) and saw that I have had 21 hits from people searching "Infertility Overachievers" I guess it is because I have your blog listed on my sidebar!

Unknown said...

I agree infertility is defintley a proces....Thanks for sharing:-)

Amy@LittlePinkDollhouse said...

great post! *hugs*

Krissi said...

Hi! I found you on Twitter and I'm now following your blog and added your link. I too know what it's like to go through infertility the first time and secondary as well. I now have a 3 year old and 8 month old twins (all conceived through IVF)! I blog to help others and hope you will check it out. Love this post by the way! ;-)

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I love Google Analytics. I got it right after I started my blog and I love seeing where people from around the world are coming on to it.

R.J. said...

Hey thanks for your comments! I'm just getting up to speed on your journey but wanted to say "good luck" in trying for #2!

Samantha said...

I never really realized how painful infertility could be. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that :(

Anonymous said...

You probably need a refresher around the useful tips every online small business owner should find out about.
This business will likely be operated in the owner's home and
will be done entirely about the internet. If you're still at a loss, it is
possible to contact the buyer care team either by email, live chat,
or phone during standard west coast business hours.

My homepage ...

Unknown said...
Unknown said...
xumeiqing said... said...

cheap oakley sunglasses
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton outlet
ghd flat iron
hermes handbags
ralph lauren
jordan 3
coach outlet store online
true religion jeans
adidas uk
coach outlet
mont blanc
nike trainers
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors purses
coach factory outlet
nike free run 2
vans shoes
ralph lauren uk
marc jacobs
tods outlet
toms shoes
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton
oakley sunglasses
coach outlet store online
michael kors outlet clearance
pandora jewelry
nike roshe flyknit
toms shoes outlet online
nike nfl jerseys
kate spade
coach outlet online
ray ban sunglasses
tiffany outlet
louis vuitton handbags
oakley vault
nike blazers
kate spade
nike nfl jerseys

chenmeinv0 said...

cheap mlb jerseys
cheap uggs
the north face outlet
ugg boots
beats by dr dre
ralph lauren polo
ray ban sunglasses
adidas trainers uk
the north face jackets
coach outlet store online

raybanoutlet001 said...
Obat Penyakit Susah Kencing said...

This article is interesting and useful. Thank you for sharing. And let me share an article about health that God willing will be very useful. Thank you :)

Cara Menghilangkan Bruntusan
Cara Mengobati Gondok Beracun
Cara Mengobati Gabagen
Cara Mudah Mengobati Diabetes
Cara Menyembuhkan Mata Minus
Cara Mengobati Gusi Bengkak

Unknown said...

Hey, know About Hamidur Rahman biography? Visit Our Website To Read this article.

Unknown said...

Hey, know About Olga Kurylenko biography? Visit Our Website To Read this article.

Post a Comment

Don't be shy, I love comments.