I'm not going to lie, for the first two weeks, I was sitting on cloud nine. All I could think about was how many babies we had growing in there, one or two? It never even crossed my mind that the answer could possibly be zero. I've played out numerous scenarios in my head, including one where they told me I had 12 babies, 2 sets of identical sextuplets haha! I've acted out almost most every possible situation, and I've got the appropriate surprised face ready for each one, with only one exception.
What happens if they do the ultrasound and tell me that there is no heartbeat?
I've had several miscarriages, including 2 that were diagnosed via an ultrasound. No bleeding or spotting, just an ordinary ultrasound crushed my dreams. I have developed quite a love hate relationship with ultrasounds, and refuse under any circumstances to go by myself.
So tomorrow is the big day! I'm not nauseous, which worries me. But I do have tender boobs and wake up to pee 3 times each night, so that offers some reassurance. Who knows how tomorrow is going to change things, but I refuse to go into it with a pessimistic attitude. Nothing I do today is going to change anything, so there is no point in worrying. Easier said than done though. Today, I am pregnant!!! Tomorrow I will either still be pregnant and celebrating or getting drunk and eating sushi, my own personal way of coping with a miscarriage. Fingers crossed we hear a heartbeat (or two)!
My u/s is at 10:15 AM EST, so I will be sure to update soon after.
25 comments:
Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking about you :)
Good luck tomorrow!! Praying for you and the bab(y/ies). :)
My fingers are crossed that you'll see at least one healthy heartbeat. Good luck tomorrow!
Good luck tomorrow Aly!!
Good luck! I'll be thinking about you!
Sending positive thoughts your way!
Fingers crossed!
I LOVE you right now. Not that you are experiencing that fear. But, that you confirmed my exact thoughts to be normal given the circumstances. I am one week behind you with my first IVF cycle and have been having the same fears. I wish I could just sit back and enjoy the ride. I hope that seeing the heartbeat(s) will help with that. I wish you all the best of luck tomorrow and thank you for sharing your journey. A loyal, but not so confidentally open IVF'r.
This is the same thing that happens to me before very ultrasound. For most of the time before, I am so excited to see my baby. But then, a day or too before I start getting so anxious about the worst happening. I have a good feeling about you, though! Also, I remember when you were pregnant with London you didn't have any morning sickness for the first 7 weeks at least. I remember you talking about how you thought you got lucky and then you started barfing.
Holy moly! I am super excited and can't wait to check in tomorrow for the results!
Good luck to you tomorrow! It's a big day :)
Praying for ALL of you (including the bean(s)!!)
Good luck today! I will be thinking of you this morning and excited to see your update!
Good luck sweetie! I'm personally hoping for two heartbeats! Report back to us, stat!
Hello from ICLW. Best of luck to you and I'm sending good thoughts your way!
Pix--
Cheese Curds and Kimchi
Good Luck!!
I think there are TWO. I hope you'll post right away. I've admired your confidence and optimism and I'm sorry this pessimism has nudged its way in. I think you will be just fine! :)
Sending good thoughts your way!
Post a Comment
Don't be shy, I love comments.