The Girls Have Arrived!

Greysen Elizabeth and Harper Elliot arrived yesterday weighing in at 5lbs11oz and 5lbs8oz respectively.

To say it was a traumatic delivery would be an understatement. Greysen arrived quickly and easily via vaginal delivery, Harper however had her own plans. She flipped transverse and tried coming out sideways (left arm and left leg first) the dr had to shove her back in and the try to flip her. I'm not exaggeration when I say the Dr was elbow deep in me for about 10 minutes. Finally they knocked me out and gave me an emergency csection to get Harper out. We are all doing really well,but I'm in ALOT of pain.

The girls have done great and did not have to go to the nicu. They are so cute and look just like each other. If they have the same blood type, we are going to have them tested to see if they are identical.

They look just like London, and even have his red hair!

35 weeks

So here we are at 35 weeks! I can't believe it! Lets see, I think another update is required.

First of all last week, at 33w6d, my Dr sent me to the hospital for 2 nights. I had gone from being 2cms dilated at 32 weeks to 4cms at almost 34 weeks. Add that to the fact that I was having contractions every 2-3 mins and that was enough to earn me a hospital stay and some steroid shots for the girls lungs. Thankfully things slowed down and I was allowed to go home 2 days later.

At my 34 week appt (a few days after coming home from the hospital) I found out that baby b (Harper) had flipped and is now breech. Ugh, my Drs are still going to let me try a vaginal delivery since baby A (Greysen) is still head down, but baby b being breech will complicate things if they can't get her out after Greysen is delivered. I may just end up with the double whammy and have one vaginally and one via csection. I can't even begin to think about that recovery.

I'm also 5 cms dilated now. My dr was shocked to see me at my 35 week appt. but apparently these girls are comfy. As uncomfortable as I am, I would really like them to stay put at least until 36 weeks so that we can dodge the NICU. The drs are going to induce me on the 19th if they haven't arrived by then. That is exactly one day before Holden's first birthday. Since we will be in the hospital for his birthday, we'll throw him a little party in a few weeks, thank goodness he doesn't know the date yet!

I went yesterday and got my hair and toes done, so the girls are officially allowed to come now!

Sorry this update is so choppy, my computer is down right now so I'm updating from my phone.

The Home Stretch

So I know I have been horrible about updating my blog recently but to be totally honest just walking to the bathroom is almost more than I can handle these days.

I am now 33 weeks pregnant with the twin girls! I seriously can not believe we have made it to this point. And WITHOUT BED REST!! This has been so wild. After 2 IVF miracle little boys, the fact that we got pregnant with twin girls (when I was only 3 months postpartum) is still blowing my mind to me. However now that we have made it all the way to 33 weeks, after 2 high risk pregnancies with a total of almost 30 weeks on bed rest, to escape this pregnancy with almost no preterm labor...is a freaking MIRACLE!

I've started having ALOT of contractions over the last few days though, so maybe I am celebrating a little to soon.

Let's see...at my 32 week appt Baby A (Greysen) was breach, and Baby B (Harper) was transverse. UGH! I am REALLY hoping to dodge a csection here, so I NEED baby A to be head down in order to even attempt a vaginal delivery. At 32 weeks they were both measuring on the large side, weighing at 4lbs 9oz so I was super happy about that. Big babies always do better if they have to go to the NICU.

Today I got a real treat and both of them were head down! WOOOHOOOOOO!!! Baby A's head is engaged, so we are hoping she won't flip again. I'm also 2 cm dilated already. My Dr says that she will throw us a party if we can make it to at least 35 weeks, although 36/37 weeks would be ideal.

As miserable as I am right now, I definitely do not want to spend any time in the NICU, so I'm trying to keep them in as long as possible (as if I have a real choice in when they arrive).

Here is a belly pic of me at 32 weeks, I was officially measuring at 42 weeks gestation, however it feels more like 52 weeks.

I realize that I don't look too big in this picture. So I included the next picture from my baby shower as proof. 

No, that is not a house with a turkey neck, that is me at 32 weeks chatting at one of my AWESOME baby showers. 

So that is enough from me now, mainly because I need to head to bed, so I am publishing this WITHOUT proof reading. So you can go ahead and expect more errors that usual. I'm sure my sister Jennifer will call me with the corrections later. I'm not sure how we are related since she is such a stickler for spelling and grammar. :)

26 weeks and a lot of catching up to do.

OMG, I have gone almost two months without posting. I'm pretty sure this is a whole new level of  "disappearing".

I'm going to admit, I have no drive to blog these days. It's horrible and I wish I was better but so many more things come before my blog right now. Any yes, I'm talking about these two monkeys...

Notice Holden's new haircut! 

Before: 

And After: 

Ugh, he looks like such a big boy!

Here is a little update about Holden, aka: Holdy-Holds, aka: Tootsy Pooter, aka: Toosie. At 9 months old and 20 lbs now, he is all over the place. He is standing on his own, and cruising between furniture. He tries so hard to get up and go with London and frankly gets pretty annoyed when he can't keep up.

He and London are really starting to play together, its so freaking cute. You have to keep an eye on London though, he tends to get pretty rough forgetting that Holden is still a baby. Holden is one tough cookie though and rarely cries. Not a single tear was shed when London left a big bruise on his forehead by throwing a Gerber Puffs container across the room. Who knew a plastic container could be such a dangerous weapon in the hands of a 3 year old.

London is CRAZY as usual and spends most of his days either playing Angry Birds, begging to play Angry Birds, or playing real life Angry birds with his blocks and toy birds. Combine that with his Plants vs Zombie obsession, and we have a real gamer on our hands. I can only imagine how hard it's going to be to pry him away from his games as a teenager. As you can imagine our little trip to Chuckie Cheese was pure heaven for a gamer like him. Although he still made some time for the Monster Truck, he definitely did NOT appreciate me taking pictures of him while he was in it. 

These two monkeys have also kept me extremely busy recently...

Here are the twins at 25 weeks. 

Greysen Elizabeth

AND

 Harper Elliot 

(finally she has a middle name) 

I'm 26 weeks now...and in some ways this pregnancy has been my easiest. But in MOST way this has been the most difficult pregnancy EVER!

Here I was last week.

First off the easy parts: NO BED REST!!! (yet!) 

While my cervix is measuring short (the main reason I was put on bed rest with Holden), its nothing too drastic and is actually longer than it was last pregnancy. However I think there is an explanation for that. Last pregnancy, I felt great and London and I were trying to keep busy over the summer by almost daily taking trips to the zoo and children's museum. However this pregnancy I can barely walk so needless to say I have been taking it very easy over the last few weeks. I also have not had much preterm labor. By 24 weeks with both boys I had been hospitalized for at least a few days with contractions. Not this time though. Sure I have had some contractions, but nothing some water and laying on my left side can't fix. 

The hard parts: I CAN'T FREAKING WALK! I am seriously falling apart. I'm like a 90 year old woman over here. I have Pubic Symphysis Diastasis or in other words my pubic bone/hips feel like they are about to snap in half. Add that to the fact that I get heart burn just from drinking a glass of water. I've also had like 3 or 4 blood vessels in my eyes pop. So I have red eyes and look like I'm stoned half the time. It's pretty awesomeful. I already feel like I'm 35 weeks pregnant, and can barely roll over in the middle of the night. But who needs to roll over when you have to sleep sitting up. UGH!!! Okay I'm done whining (for now)!

Anyway, I'm forgetful and exhausted all the time (Okay so maybe I wasn't done whining) which is why I haven't been posting recently but I'm HOPING to get better about it soon. Oh who am I kidding?  I'm about to have 4 kids under 4, and 3 under 1. This is only going to get worse over the next 12 months. I'll do the best I can though. Especially in the up coming weeks as I prepare for the girls arrival.

Disappearing Act!

First off I want to apologize for my disappearing act over the last few weeks. As you can all imagine, I've been VERY busy! Something about having a VERY ACTIVE 3 year old, an ADVENTUROUS 8 month old, and being almost 20 weeks pregnant with twins has been keeping me busy.

Holden is all over the place now, he is crawling everywhere and pulling up on anything he can reach. Which of course means he falls about 50 times a day. As many times as that poor kid cracks his head, he has to have a headache by bedtime every night.

Not even the dog is impressed anymore. 

London has been going CRAZY recently. He is officially out of preschool for the summer so he is BORED if we don't go somewhere and do something every single day. As you can imagine I am exhausted and don't feel like dragging both kids out in the blazing South Carolina heat every day.  So I have had to get pretty creative recently.

Yes my kid is using tape to pretend he is a mummy! 

SO WHAT! It kept him busy for nearly an hour. Totally worth the $1 I wasted on scotch tape. 

The twins are doing well! We are still in shock that it's twin girls. I am refusing to get rid of my boy clothes yet, for fear that one or both of them will sprout something at the 20 week ultrasound. I have however started buying some pink stuff. It's so surreal. This has been the wildest ride of my life. I have started feeling them ALOT over the last few weeks too. Although I can't really feel the difference between being pregnant with one vs two yet. Here is a horrible belly picture  from 18 weeks.

I guess that is my update for now! Holden just woke up from his nap so my free time is OVER! :)

It's Two....

GIRLS!!!

I can not even begin to wrap my mind around the idea of having two girls! We are sooooooooooooo stinking excited and thrilled to be finishing our family with two miracle little girls.

So introducing...

Greysen Elizabeth 

Aka: Baby A

AND

Harper (middle name not yet determined) 

AKA: Baby B

Randomness

Well tomorrow is the big day! We find out (hopefully) what gender the babies are. I am so stinking excited I can hardly wait. I don't care what they are. When I first got pregnant I really never thought I would be able to say that. It was no secret that I want a daughter. But after finding out your are pregnant with naturally conceived twins after years of infertility treatments, I can honestly say I will be happy with whatever God gives us.  I'm just excited to KNOW and start planning. Patience is not my forte.

I have been a really sucky blogger recently. My life is just so crazy and BORING! The boys have been keeping me busy. And while I'm feeling better and have more energy, I'm still in bed by 9 every night.  Holden has really started crawling and even pulling up on stuff. I have no idea how my little boy has gotten so big. Spoken like a true mom, right? London is so well...LONDON. Crazy as ever!

Our life is super boring, yet there is never a dull moment. Maybe I'm just in a blog funk right now. I feel like nothing is "blog worthy". And I'm way too lazy to upload pictures, so even wordless posts are out.

Here are a few fun facts for ya:

1) I'm getting an Iphone next week. It's a huge step for me as I am a complete android fan. However I've had my phone for almost 2 years and Android has yet to come out with anything any better than what I already have. I'm ready for a change and Iphone seems like a HUGE change. Hopefully I don't regret it! I'll miss Flash, and I'm not really a fan of Apple anything, but I want something NEW!

2) I've been reading and ALOT recently. Humm, maybe that is why I haven't been posting. I just finished The Fifty Shades of Grey series. I have to say I really liked it, way more than I expected too. I definitely could have done without a sex scene every 10 pages. I eventually started just skipping through those parts. It was a book in which nothing really happens so I can't even say why I liked it so much, but I did. I read all three in about 4 days and actually when I was done I went back and reread the second one. I hear they are making a movie, and I would like to publicly throw my support behind Ian Somerhalder as Christian (you know in case Hollywood decides to consult my blog before casting.) Who can resist this smolder?

He plays a somewhat similar role bad guy/good guy on CW's Vampire Diaries, and is FABULOUS! 

When I first looked up the movie, he was one of the names that was one of the names being tossed around and now I can't imagine anyone else playing the tortured hottie, Christian Grey. 

3) Ok so now that I'm done reading Fifty Shades, I need book recommendations. I've already read the usual suspects...Hunger Games, Twilight, Mortal Instruments, and Divergent but I need something new. I'm quite fond of young adult and I love a good series. Any suggestions?

That is all from me for now! I will post ASAP tomorrow about the gender of the twins. Now I just have to fall asleep tonight without thinking about it.

NT Scan

As you can tell by the title of this post, I had my NT Scan today. Both babies looked FABULOUS!!! They were kicking each other and doing flips. Pretty typical stuff for our family, so I am sure they will fit in really well around our house. :)

The ultrasound tech was really cranky an refused to take a peak between their legs. It would be just for fun since I definitely wouldn't trust a gender determination at 13 weeks, but she said no. She wasn't my usual lady though, so I didn't argue. At the end of the u/s she said "Well I didn't look between their legs, but I didn't see any penises flying around" HAHA! No worries though, we will be having another ultrasound on May 30th. As long as the babies cooperate we will be finding out their genders then.

A few questions I have gotten in my comments recently....what do I THINK the babies are? 2 boys. Because since I have 2 boys already it's hard to imagine actually adding a girl to this family.

What do we want? 2 healthy babies, but then again EVERYONE wants that. So if I got to choose I would pick, one boy and one girl. My logic...I don't want Holden to ever feel like the lost middle child. Can you even imagine if it's twin girls how he might feel lost in the cute twin baby girl craze. If it's a boy and girl, then Holden and the boy will be more like the twins growing up. IDK, that is just my totally crazy lady ramblings right now.

ANYWAY!!!

Here are our BABIES at 13 weeks!!

Baby A

 Baby B

12 weeks Twins!

OMG, it has finally started to sink in that we are going to have twins. Yeah, I know we have had a while to adjust to this news, but with several miscarriages in our past we have tried to distance ourselves a bit from this pregnancy. Well today at my 12 week ultrasound, two adorable BABIES were thrown in my face (in the best possible way!) While watching the ultrasound, I witnessed my babies kicking each other in the head. Baby  B was trying to do a flip (head over feet) and Baby A was letting him/or her have it for disturbing his rest. Finally Baby B was able to flip around and dish it right back out to Baby A. It hit me at that moment, OMG I'M GOING TO HAVE TWINS! This is by far that craziest thing that has ever happened in my life. If I didn't believe in God before, there was no doubt of his existence today while watching my tiny twins first wresting match.

I prayed for these babies...while we were in the throws of infertility. I cried for these babies...each and every cycle that ended with a BFN. I fought for these babies....during both of our IVF cycles while I tried to find the time, money, and energy to add to our family. God just had other plans about WHEN these babies would arrive. He sure is a prankster!

Anyway! It's official, I'm 12 weeks now and have accepted that we are REALLY having twins. It's even Facebook official. :) I made this super cute (if I do say so myself) announcement today!

Oh and check out my new super cute header too! :) Thanks Ashley!

What's new with you?

So yes, we have established that I am pregnant...with twins. But in case you have forgotten, I have two other kids too and it's been a while since I gave an update about them.

First there is the ever adventurous (that is the nice was of saying wild and crazy) London. 

 These days he is enjoying....

Showing off his Easter eggs while making a very awkward smile. 

And wearing tiny hats

in his defense it was his St Patrick's Day Parade at school. 

See I told you it have been a while since I uploaded pictures of the boys. 

Then there is Baby Holden, who is not such a baby anymore. 

He is now 6 months old and has learned how to do this...

and this...

Needless to say it is VERY busy around our house. 

Holden has also started sleeping better at night. THANK GOODNESS! 

Right now he is only waking up ONCE in the middle of the night. 

He must know Mommy is EXHAUSTED from gestating his siblings and desperately in need of sleep. 

On the pregnancy front: I am finally starting to feel better. I'm still exhausted, but it is manageable now. And the nausea has definitely subsided too. Eating is not pure torture anymore, which considering I have to do it every 90 mins or so, is definitely a good thing. 

Besides all of that, life is pretty much business as usual around here. 

What's new with you? 

Babies Update

Ahhh, I am so sorry for my absence! It's just that I have been SOOOOOOO exhausted. I've been asleep every night for the last 2 weeks by like 8pm. I seriously can barely function during the day. I'm one step away from being narcoleptic. Oh and the nausea...it really is twice as bad with two.

Anyway, I had my 9 week ultrasound on Friday. I was super nervous. I had loaned my doppler to a friend, because I was NOT expecting to need it for a few years hahaha! Well she was kind enough to mail it back to me. At first I couldn't find a heartbeat which worried me, but I kept trying and finally found one. Yep, just one. You can't find twin heartbeats on a doppler because they usually mask each other.

At least one heartbeat is a good sign though, I went into the appointment KNOWING at the very least that I was still pregnant. A huge plus when you have had several early m/c.

Luckily, both babies looked FABULOUS!! Both measured right on track at 9w3d. and Baby A had a heartbeat of 171 and Baby B 164. Each baby was moving around and kicking it's legs and arms. A-FREAKING-DORABLE!

The pictures from this ultrasound were REALLY crappy. She did it on the top of the tummy this time, so they were just poor quality pictures.

Since I don't have and utrasound pictures to share today, how about the first belly shot from this pregnancy? I will warn you...

1) This is a 3rd baby so I expected to show a little earlier this time.
2) I had a baby 5 months ago so I still have a belly from that pregnancy.
3) It's twins! So I'm a little bigger from that too.

Still I have no idea WHY I already look 20 weeks pregnant. 

SpermCheck Review and Giveaway!

FINALLY THERE IS A PREGNANCY TEST FOR MEN!! 

Well, sort of!

Amazon Photo 

(Mike refused to have his photographed, said it was gross to take pictures)

Perhaps they will sneak around behind our backs and purchase them by the dozen like we do! :) 

So ladies, are you TTC and have a shy guy?
Well this product is for you then. 

A few weeks ago I was asked to review Sperm Check Fertility. However it was really Mike who was going to have to do the reviewing.

SpermCheck is a test that allows men to test their sperm count in the comfort of their very own home. It gives you a Normal or Low result, much like a pregnancy test, by showing one line or two. Normal is considered anything over 20 million.

While Mike wouldn't allow me to take any after pictures, I did snap one before he "got started".

The test was really easy (as long as you read the directions). It's not quiet as straight forward as peeing on a pregnancy test, so don't just dump the sample on the test. 

Mike's test came back "normal" which was great! I wish that I had listened (although sperm count has never been our infertility issue in the past) because a few weeks later I became pregnant the old fashioned way with the twins. Maybe they should add a "grab a condom or get on some birth control" result to the test  if your sperm is super awesome. Just a thought HAHA!

A few fun facts about SpermCheck

• SpermCheck® Fertility FDA approved 
• SpermCheck® Fertility is as accurate as lab testing – 98% accurate
• SpermCheck® Fertility is private and convenient – done in the privacy of your own home
• SpermCheck® Fertility is affordable —just $39.99
• SpermCheck® Fertility is fast and easy – provide easy to read results in 10 minutes

SpermCheck® Fertility is currently available online at www.Walgreens.com and www.CVS.com and will be available in Walgreens stores nationwide in April 2012. For more information about SpermCheck® Fertility, visit www.spermcheck.com or on  Facebook.

One of my favorite things about SpermCheck is they are giving away a test to one of my awesome readers.


Disclaimer: I was not compensated for this review. I was only provided with ONE test to review. All opinions expressed are strictly my own!

Has the Twins Shock Subsided for You?

No? It hasn't for us either.

I go back and forth between denial and freaking out.

Mike and I are worried about totally different things. Mike is stressing about the pregnancy. He is worried about losing one of the babies like we did when I was pregnant with London (we lost his twin at 11 weeks). Also we all know my pregnancies are not the easiest. I end up on bed rest about 24 weeks, thanks to good old preterm labor and stay there until my child comes early around 37 weeks. Now throw being pregnant with twins, and having a 3.5 year old and 9 month old into that equation. The pregnancy its self is going to be CRAZY! I totally understand where he is coming from

I, however, am freaking out about how we are going to handle things once the babies come out! I will have 3 under one! In some ways it will be ALOT like having triplets. I'm worried about the additional financial burden (I would really like to hire some help, but we will have to completely redo our budget and cut some corners to pay for help AND the additional costs of having 2 more kids.

Please don't get me wrong, we really are excited. But we are completely overwhelmed right now. This time last week I was overwhelmed by the idea of having just ONE more baby right now, and to find out its twins has just thrown me into total woman crazy mode.

Morning sickness and exhaustion has just started for me this pregnancy. It's like double of both. I wake up every morning feeling like I'm hung over. It sucks! As long as I don't allow myself to get hungry, I don't throw up.

I also forgot to mention that my next Dr Appt will be on April 13 when I am 9w2d. Wow that seems like such a long wait!

The Biggest Surprise of my Life.

About 2 weeks ago, I got one of the biggest surprises of my life....at that point

We are pregnant. 

Wait, wait wait...allow me to finish your sentence for you....

"What? How? OMG? WTF? How the hell? Isn't Holden only like 4 months old? Weren't you breastfeeding? Didn't you do IVF to FINALLY get pregnant with your boys? OMG? What? How the hell?"

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY! 

And if you throw in a few tears, insane bouts of laughter, and a whole lot of thinking "OMG, what the hell am I going to do with 2 babies in 12 months" then you will have reacted the exact same way I did. 

I wrote few posts when I first found out, that I will now publish (backdated, of course). I was not ready to come clean yet, and we are still keeping it very quite. But my blog doesn't count as telling people right? HAHA! We are trying to stay positive that this pregnancy will end with a baby and not a miscarriage. However given our history, that is not guaranteed. 

However today at our first ultrasound we received an even bigger surprise.

TWINS!!! 

OMG? How in the world did this happen.

 Natural Surprise Twins, after two IVF cycles. 

I almost fell off the table, when I saw those two heartbeats on the screen today at my Dr's appointment. 

I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh, cry, or throw up. 

Finally I just had to laugh!

Today, I am 6 weeks and due on November 14, 2012 

(Holdens due date was November 9, 2011)
Both babies had a heartbeat of 120!!

Miracle? Yes! CRAZY? OMG Yes!!!!!

Mike and I are BOTH still in shock. We have been here before when I was pregnant with London, so we are cautiously optimistic that everything will work out. 

3 babies in 12 months! OMG!

If you know me IRL or on Facebook, I am NOT ready to come out of the closet yet, so please don't mention it there yet! Thanks!

 Now, go read the earlier three posts to get caught up.
The one where I find out I'm pregnant!
The one with my first Dr Appointment and first beta!
The one with the second beta!

The Hunger Games!!

Can I tell you all how freaking excited I am about this movie!!

(*I removed the super awesome countdown because the music on it was driving me crazy*)
I am such a dork, I have become a bit obsessed with these books, and now the movie. 
It is no secret that I walk around my house randomly screaming"Peeta Mallark" in my best Effie Trinket accent. 
I have forced almost everyone I know to read these books, but I'm still working on Mike though. I've pretty much told him the ENTIRE story like three times so he is in no real rush to read them haha. 
I am going to watch this movie on Thursday night at midnight. Yes, I know I have a 5 month old. And yes I know he still does not sleep very wel, so I should be catching up on sleep instead of heading to the movies.  And yes I also know I will be exhausted on Friday, but not too exhausted to go see it again that night. HAHAHA! 
Yes, I am going to see it Thursday at midnight, and then again on Friday night. See I TOLD you I was excited about this one!
How can you not be excited about The Hunger Games movie when the cast looks like this...

Hello Gale!!!
So who else is excited about next Friday? 

So Far So Good!

My first beta was 485 and there was 4 days between them so we wanted it to be between 1800 and 2000. 

Yesterday my second came back at 2690! 

That is a doubling time of every 36 hours. Doubling every 48 hours is what they want to see, so every 36 hours is GREAT!

So far so good! My Dr should be calling me at some point today and letting me know what the next step is in this CRAZY process. I’m thinking we will probably have another ultrasound next week to look for a heartbeat. 

If all goes well there, I am going to let the cat out of the bag on my main blog. We are cautiously optimistic about the outcome of this pregnancy. Fingers Crossed everything goes smoothly over the next few months. 

Dr Appointment Update

So Thursday was my very first Dr’s appointment of this pregnancy. You should have seen the faces of all the nurses and ultrasound techs to see me back on the OB side of the office. One even tried to walk me to the GYN side until I told her I was pregnant again hahaha!  I went in for the ultrasound and saw NOTHING! Not even a sack. Based on my last missed period, I should be about 5.5 weeks, so I was really expecting to see at the very least a sack and possibly fetal pole. 

I immediately assumed the worst. However, since I have only had two very irregular periods since having Holden, we knew there was a possibility that our dates could be wrong. 

The Dr decided we needed to do two betas (blood tests) to help us figure out what was going on. Thankfully, I know how to handle this part of the process as it’s very common in the world of infertility. Pull the first beta, then wait 48 hours, and pull another. If the first number doubles in 48 hours, it is the first sign of a healthy pregnancy. 

My level from Thursday was 485. So this number combined with my personal bedroom calendar (No, I don’t really keep one of those, but Mike was out of town a few times so I know the few dates that it could possibly have happened.) It looks like we are right on track to be 5 weeks today. 

You can’t see anything on a ultrasound until your beta is over 1000. So having a beta of 485 explains why we didn’t see anything in the uterus. It was just too early.

I go back on Monday for my second beta. Since it will have been 4 days since my last beta we are expecting it to double twice Today, 48 hours after my beta was drawn, it should be around 1000.  And on Monday it should have doubled again and be around 2000 (although anything above 1700 will still be considered good).

I am assuming that if all looks good at the betas, I will have another ultrasound sometime the following week, when I am 6.5 weeks-ish. This way we can check for not only a sack but also a heartbeat. 

I’m a lot less scared about this now. Sure having another pregnancy and baby this soon is going to be tough, but I’m taking this as a personal challenge from God. I mean after 2 IVF cycles, only 4 months after having a baby, and while exclusively breastfeeding, we fall pregnant. What are the chances? If this isn’t a test from God, I’m not sure what it is. 

I may not sleep for the next 3 years, but it will all be OK! Didn’t I just get that new coffee maker? I’m gonna need it!

I'm Pregnant!

Yes, you read that right! I am pregnant again. How the hell did this happen? I mean after all I did not go to the Dr put my feet up in stirrups and have him manually inject embryos into my uterus. That is the only way we have ever gotten pregnant before, so for the life of me I can’t figure out how we got here.

I once read that people get pregnant from sex, but quickly dismissed that theory because Mike and I tried that. I only ever got pregnant after being hopped up on hormones and having a needle shoved up my lady bits.

No matter how it happened, the fact of the matter is that I AM PREGNANT AGAIN!

I wish I could sit here and tell you all that I want to scream this from the roof tops and dance around my living room with elation like I have both times in the past. However this time, I am TERRIFIED!

I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old right now. I’m exhausted all the time because Holden doesn’t sleep yet. I’m still fat and feeling gross from the baby I had only 4 MONTHS AGO! I am NOT ready to go through another high risk pregnancy again.  I have difficult pregnancies. How am I supposed to take it easy and do modified bedrest starting at about 24 weeks if I have a 8 month old (AND a 3 year old!) IMPOSSIBLE!

Holden and the new baby will be about (if not less) than a year apart! OMG! Just take a minute and think about life with a 3.5 year old, 1 year old, and NEWBORN!

I know all of that will be fine eventually. I know once the baby gets here I will figure everything out, but you can’t blame me for being terrified about it now.

I’m happy(ish) I am  just really overwhelmed by the whole idea of having another baby so soon.

Mike on the other hand is THRILLED! He keeps laughing and smiling, it’s almost making me feel bad. He is right, we are married,  financially stable, and even have the extra space. It’s not like we as a family won’t be able to handle this…my fear is that I won’t be able to handle this with my sanity still intact.  

Another thing that I am afraid of is NOT HAVING THE BABY! Let’s face the facts, Mike and I have been pregnant 4 times naturally over the years, each and everyone ended in a relatively early (before 8 weeks) miscarriage. While I am NOT doing back flips about being pregnant right now, I sure as hell DON’T want to go through another miscarriage.  This another reason why I can’t seem to get excited about having another baby. Right now, even though I am pregnant, it is just a possibility that we will end up with a baby in the end.

For this reason, we are not quite ready to tell everyone IRL, and most of our friends and family read my main blog. I didn’t want to NOT blog about this new pregnancy for a full 12 weeks so I decided to start this private blog, invite the few of you who know, and then eventually import the posts into the other blog when the cat is out of the bag.

I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow Thurs March 8 at 2 pm. I’m not expecting much since I THINK I am only about 5w2d. However it will give us a much better idea of a due date. Wow, I can’t believe I am pregnant and don’t know how far along I am. This will definitely be a new experience for us.

Holden's Day At The Hospital!

Yesterday was quite possibly the worst day of my life. A few weeks ago I uttered those words aloud while referencing having to hold a screaming 3 month old while getting a pap smear. True story! Yeah, little did I know that statement became a personal challenge to God.

Yesterday, on the very rare February 29th, Holden had his very first hospital visit.

Grab a cup of coffee, coke, or wine (no other beverages will be allowed during this story)

Feb 29th I wake up at 5:30 am, feeling nauseous. I quickly checked my calendar, realized my period was late, and PURE PANIC ENSUED! Within about 2 minutes, I heard Holden throw up, and realized that I was NOT pregnant. (No idea how I thought we could have a surprise pregnancy after 2 IVF babies, but I guess weirder things have happened. I am just NOT ready to get pregnant right now!) So now I'm panicking that my 4 month old is puking EVERYWHERE! About that time I have to put him down and run the the bathroom to puke myself.

Our morning pretty much continues with rotating puking sessions until about 8 am and I call the doctor. They told me to come straight in because we couldn't get Holden to keep anything down. I started feeling a *little* bit better, and managed to only puke ONCE on the way there. Mike came home from work to keep a currently healthy London.When we got there, the Dr noticed that Holden was starting to show signs of dehydration and sent us straight to the hospital.

About this point I either was miraculously healed or mommy adrenaline kicked in. I'm going to guess the latter.

We got to the hospital and they tried to set up an IV on Holden (keep in mind this is a children's hospital, so they do have plenty of experience with little guys). They had to stick Holden 5 times to finally get his IV in. For those who are thinking, "oh they had to stab him 4 times with a needle, that sucks" Um NO! He was so dehydrated they couldn't find a decent vein. They would stab him then hunt around in his arm for several minutes until they finally hit a vein and blew it. This happened 4 times! I was sobbing and Holden was hysterical.

Finally they agreed to try to give him some pedialyte to help rehydrate him thus making his veins easier to hit.

Thankfully this worked because I wouldn't let them "fish" in him anymore until they promised me they could actually get it in! The 5th time was a charm and Holden had his IV set...in his foot.

It was amazing how much he started feeling better as the fluid went in. Slowly but surely he started laughing and cooing at me. Back to my normal precious baby boy with in about 30 minutes!

By today we are both feeling great! London and Mike however are a totally different story, both of them were sick.Good time, Good times.

Hum, sounds very familiar to a story I told 2 months ago huh? UGH!

Well I better go, I need to catch up on American Idol. I'm starting to hear some things about the shows and I need to watch the episodes before I accidentally see the results on "The Facebook or The Twitter".

Happy Birthday To Me!!

Sunday was my 31st birthday! Yes, I will wait a minute while you stop gasping in amazement. THIRTY FREAKING ONE YEARS OLD!!

Okay I know it is shocking since ya know, I only look 21 at most. HAHAHA! The good news is I have kept my sense of sarcasm in my old age. It is after all my most prized possession.

So Sunday my hubs completely spoiled me!

First we went and ate Japanese food for lunch! Big ups to my friend Danielle who on 10 minutes notice agreed to keep London for us so we could go. It was DELICIOUS!

Next Mike took London to store for like two hours. It was GLORIOUS! Holden actually took a nap and shockingly so did I!

Then when Mike and London got home, and London proudly announced "Daddy cleaned your car". We all walked outside, after cutting the cake they also brought home, and saw my freshly cleaned and vacuumed car.

As if that wasn't awesome enough, I walked back in to see this beauty sitting on the kitchen counter.

What's your favorite K-cup?

The note, written on an empty envelope none the less, says: 

Lover,
Pretend that I'm a very romantical red bow. And that I am wrapped. Thanks.
Always, Mike

Who says romance dies when you get married? Well it kinda does but that is when your true sense of humor kicks in. I think the funny note was my favorite part of the day. :)

Today is London's Birthday! His is 3 years old, can you believe it?  I will update with a bunch of pictures of his birthday party tomorrow. It was Angry Bird themed, and we had a blast.