Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I'm sorry ahead of time....
Ok Ladies, I feel horrible. I am so ready to be DONE with this pregnancy and to HOLD my baby. I actually yelled at my belly last night as London was kicking and moving and it hurt sooooooo bad. I have no idea what he was doing in there but wow, it was painful. I yelled "GET OUT" and he actually stopped moving and then I felt bad and almost cried HAHAHA. Gotta love those pregnancy hormones.
The hardest part for me is that I have been in preterm labor since 24 weeks and just a few days ago I was allowed off bed rest and off my meds, so it could literally be ANY DAY NOW that he could come. So as a first time mom, I am reading into every little twinge hoping its a sign of labor (it reminds me of when I was trying to get pregnant and reading into every little symptom praying that it was a sign of pregnancy). I'm having contractions but not the "painful, regular, you need to go to the hospital" kind, more like the annoying "just here to get your hopes up" kind. Last week when I went to the Dr I was already 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced. So I got all excited but then I read about women who stay at that for weeks, only to finally have to be induced. Oh and to add to my discomfort, I have guilt about wanting him to come out. This weekend I will be 36 weeks, and while I am sure he will be fine if he is born at this point, I go back and forth between wanting to walk and have sex and anything to help me go into labor, and wanting to take it easy for another 10 days so he can make it to 37 weeks (or full term). One min I want to go for a long hard walk and the next min I put myself back on bedrest to keep him in. This poor child must be so confused.
AHHHHHHHH, but I am super uncomfortable. I can barely get out of bed anymore and lets just FORGET about sleeping. Insomnia is my middle name these days. The worst part is he has dropped so LOW that I have to pee every 10 mins, and I'm not even kidding about that. I stand up from peeing and have to sit right back down and go again. Its like adding insult to injury when it takes me 10 mins to drag my pregnant butt out of bed, waddle into the bathroom, groaning with every painful step, only to pee and teaspoon full comes out. UGH, it's just so frustrating.

Sorry ladies, I'm a hormonal wreck today but I'm done ranting...thanks for listening.


Erin said...

You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for! I can't imagine how anxious you are to hold him, especially after spending the last 12 weeks trying to keep him in!!!

corkyshell said...

Rant away Erin said, you have EVERY right to complain.

And yes this reminds me of a FRIENDS episode where Rachel not only yells at Ross every 10 seconds but yells at the baby, "Get out, get out, get out!"

You're SO close!

Anonymous said...

Sorry for your suffering :( Hopefully the time passes quickly and you'll see your precious boy soon! :)

NovelTeaMommy said...

You've done a lot of work these past months, you are entitled to every emotion you feel!
I remember feeling like that. Then I went into labor at 33.5 weeks. I guess I can't say he never listens to me ☺
Hope you can hang on a few more days! Good luck with the baby; nothing beats holding that little bundle of love.

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